Insults

it started as soon as I came through the door on Friday, we were supposed to be going out for dinner with friends but not for a couple of hours so I grabbed a piece of quiche out of the fridge. He shot me a look "I'm starving" I said, "yeah it looks like it" he replied, I tried to make a joke out of it, "what did you mean by that?" I said, he just looked at me like I was a big fat blob (I'm 5'1" and 10 stone, he's 5'8" and 17 stone).

Anyway I decided I had time for a quick workout (I bought "my fitness coach" a couple of weeks ago) so I went into the conservatory and started. He then comes in and the women on the game is shouting "encouraging" snippets, and he starts taking the mickey. It starts with "she said stand tall!" and goes to "no, stick you're chest out", so within the space of half an hour I got a string of fat, short, flat chested jibes. I lost my temper and told him to f*** off, he hasn't spoken to me since.

You might think I'm being a bit sensitive, but he does this all the time, chip, chip, chipping away at my confidence.

What Women Want

All women want is to know is that they are wanted, desired, sexy... it's not too much to ask, a compliment every now and again, a hand on the knee, a hug, a kiss.  I get none of these.  

A couple of months ago L and I were going out for dinner with friends and my daughter commented that I looked nice, it meant a lot to me and I mentioned it to our friends later in the evening, how nice it was that she'd said it.  L then said, oh yeah she said I should tell you looked pretty...  

what is WRONG with this man!!?

Love and Hate

Years ago I read that Love and Hate are not opposites and that the opposite of love is indifference.  I now understand what that means.  I love him and I hate him, if I didn't care I wouldn't have this overwhelming desire to stuff a pillow in his face every time I look at him. 

If I didn't care I wouldn't get so bloody upset all the time, if I didn't care I wouldn't have spent all last Saturday crying my eyes out.  

How do you help someone who won't help themselves?   He's overweight, he smokes, he drinks too much, he doesn't exercise.  So Saturday morning I came downstairs and looked at him and he didn't look right, he mumbled at me. Thinking he'd had another stroke I asked him to sit up so I could look at him properly, he refused, I shouted at him, please sit up, I panicked, I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, he still wouldn't sit up.  I lost it, I threw the remote at him, screamed and shouted, sobbed.  I actually said "Die then! die - leave your kids with no dad, leave me with no husband" 

Drama queen or what? It actually sounds funny now I write it down, it wasn't funny at the time.